“are you alright?”
“no. everything in my life right now feels wrong.”
“if I say, ‘I miss you’, is that alright?”
“yeah, it’s alright”
“well, not everything in your life is wrong then. I miss you – and that’s one thing that’s alright.”
I smiled and said:
“Alright.”
so, today, for professionalism’s sake, i said no to a time-constraint little eternity of happiness. dehfeq! the gods know how much i wanted it today. feck, feck, feck!!! talk about wrong timing on everything.
but then, i have come to accept the fact, that if its right, things just fall into place.
and maybe, this isn’t one of the right things
————–
recently, the same old flaky has had an unintended soul searching mo in El Nido.
I just went there to relax, you know… as I pretty much knew what I wanted to kind of do in life.
the hell!
I met 3 people who sort of changed the direction…
thanks to them
it got me talking to the big guy before me about the things that I want to happen in my life
as a result: I GOT HIS SUPPORT!
and YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
but I have to take action sooner…
to lose sight of this gritty boring shore
which is Manila or PH.
————————————–
The boring shore:
yes, I believe, I meant Manila
after 1o years of slacking here….
life hasn’t been a beach lately.
seriously, if i see myself adventurous, i need to get up and leave this
filthy, gritty bitch beach!!!
generally, i’m frustrated.
VERY MUCH.
—————-
the causes of my frustration:
—————
pretty much, I’ve taken the first step.
—————
feck, biatch is so random and weird.
but, who the heck cares.
i think, i have just given up my little eternity of happiness.
ugh!
well, he wrote this:
“And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened. “
— Douglas Coupland
… so, I think, I will like him.
Currently listening to Jack Johnson’s Flake. Didn’t realize this one is really good … or speaking for myself, it is well-understood…
that people with great ties to the thought of no ties tend to be flaky.
words that got me:
I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she’s gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn’t want to break ‘em, nah, I wouldn’t want to break ‘em
Maybe she’ll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I’m gonna have to lie too
Pretty much, this is the order in situations of the flaky ones:
> Knowing
> Falling
> Knowing too well
> Understanding the person (because you think you know him too well)
> Doubting that you may not know the person too well, so….
> Giving the SHOT that it deserves
> Getting the drift
> Pushing further or letting it go
because after all, you both have the consolation of the thought of being tied to the world of the untied.
but who is kidding who? sometimes, it’s just better together over banana pancakes. subconsciously, aren’t we all sitting, waiting and wishing?
like these two… 
x,
Jaja
sometimes, i wonder
sometimes, you wonder
i hope, before it’s too late,
we talk about what we wonder about
maybe, just maybe
we wonder about the same thing.
idaan na talaga sa GANDA!!!
Someone told me I look like ramona flower. I shrugged it off but if he does think that, I was really flattered. 
i am not sure if this is embarrassing but a lot of me relate to these women’s characters in movies. in the movies, their lines, perspectives, character and events that surround them. i really love these women because I find myself relating to them. so, here’s a list and why I love their characters.
Pippi Longstocking
i love her and her crazy ways! I see a lot of my childhood on her. I really, really do!
Amelie of Amelie”
Because of her eccentric childhood and her crazy ways! I LOVE HER!!!
Celine of “Before Sunset”
I do not know what happens when I become 32 and be reunited with someone I shared special moment / times with in the past; But, as far as Celine’s version is concerened, I do see myself, one crazy way or another to “letting it all out” like that. Haha!
Emily of “A Lot Like Love”
Because she’s the crazy solo-travelling girl one boring-serious boy met. I see a lot of me in her character – because I do crazy things that I am a stranger in. If I could tell them all here. Haha!
Alice Ayres or Jane Jones of “Closer”
Because she doesn’t reveal all the truth about her, she seems to care less but does care a lot yet let’s go when she knows that anyhow she’s losing… before she loses. And because, she sad and anonymity and freedom seem comforting for her.
Anna of “Closer”
Because in my later life, I really do want to be like her. Take beautiful pictures, see life through other people, embrace that I am a very, very flawed human being yet loved by someone who acknowledges my weaknesses and imperfections and would want to have me no other way but as I am…. That’s how I see Anna. In the end, I want to have my own Larry.
